tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75567898565762602472024-03-13T07:21:21.646-07:00Fathers' Rights BlogAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193153298625352809noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-57680101718402857042012-05-09T09:14:00.000-07:002012-05-09T09:14:24.085-07:00The Daughter He Found<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<a href="http://www.dadsrights.com/" target="_blank">Web Page</a> | <a href="http://www.facebook.com/jefferyleving" target="_blank">Facebook Page</a> | <a href="http://fatherslegalrights.blogspot.com/p/contact-us.html" target="_blank">Contact Jeffery Leving</a></div>
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<b>The Daughter He Found<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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By Jeffery M. Leving</div>
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A thin pasty-faced tattooed teen-aged girl knocked on Ed
Green’s Salt Lake City, Utah, condo door one day a couple of springs ago. She
looked strung-out and exhausted and burst into tears the moment she opened her
mouth and sputtered, “You’re my father.” Much to Ed’s surprise, the image of a
girl he’d had a somewhat casual relationship with in college came back to him.
Her eyes the same steel blue as the tattooed girl’s. Immediately he wondered,
why had the girl he’d slept with in college never told him she was pregnant and
that she’d given birth to their daughter? Over the next few hours he learned
the tragic story of his daughter and the tumultuous life she’d lead since her
birth. After giving birth, her mother realized she didn’t really want to have a
baby and half-heartedly mothered her until she put her up for adoption as a
toddler. Her adoption family broke up and she was thrust into bouts of poverty
and depression and early experimentation with hard drugs and left with an
overwhelmingly constant feeling of abandonment and rejection.</div>
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A bit shocked but full of paternal love and desire to be the
father Tiffany wanted and deserved, Ed welcomed Tiffany into his world with
open arms. She moved into Ed’s condo and almost immediately bonded with Ed’s
mother and 12 year-old daughter. By the following fall she was enrolled in her
first semester at community college and thriving. While on the one hand Ed was
thrilled and grateful he could fill a void and have some positive influence on
Tiffany’s life, he was also angry and hurt that Tiffany’s mother could have
given birth to his baby and put her up for adoption without legally having to
notify him. It took him awhile to let go of the idea that if only he’d known
about Tiffany from the beginning, her childhood would have been less traumatic.
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However, even if Ed had known that Tiffany’s mother was
pregnant and wanted to put Tiffany up for adoption, Ed would have had to jump
through impossible hoops to assert any rights to decisions regarding his
daughter. In fact, Utah has become to go-to state for pregnant women who want
to exclude biological fathers from the decision making process. </div>
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In the state of Utah a birth mother may consent to an
adoption or relinquish an infant after giving birth. She does not need the
consent of the unmarried father unless he has done the following: filed a
petition to establish paternity in a Utah court with an affidavit stating he is
"willing and able" to have full custody and will pay child support,
pregnancy-related and childbirth expenses (it also must detail a plan for the
child's care); filed a "notice of commencement of paternity
proceeding" with the Office of Vital Statistics; and has offered to pay
for a reasonable share of the mother's pregnancy-related and childbirth
expenses, unless he is able to show he did not know about the pregnancy, or was
prevented from paying the expenses, or the mother refused his offer to pay.</div>
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Under Utah’s law Ed would not even be entitled to notice of
the mother’s proceedings unless he complies with the above as an unmarried
biological father. By virtue of the fact that he is engaged in a sexual
relationship with a woman, a man is considered on notice that a pregnancy and
adoption proceeding regarding the child may occur. Utah imposes upon the <i>father</i> a duty to protect his own rights
and interests.</div>
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This is archaic and sexist and heartless and downright
ridiculous. Just because a man doesn’t have a uterus doesn’t mean he doesn’t
care about what happens to his biological offspring. Just ask Ed Green who, two
years after reuniting with his long-lost daughter, Tiffany, still shakes and
shudders when he thinks about all the years Tiffany lived feeling abandoned,
without knowing her father was more than willing to love and nurture her. </div>
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<br /></h2>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193153298625352809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-17437393746442628002012-03-07T14:35:00.001-08:002012-03-07T14:35:22.952-08:00Unwed Fathers Receive Rights to Infant Children<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<br />
<b>Unwed Fathers Receive Rights to Infant Children</b><br />
By Jeffery M. Leving<br />
<br />
Unwed biological fathers are often told they have no rights when it comes to their infant<br />
children when placed for adoption. The fact they fathered their child is not considered<br />
important when the mother decides, on her own, to give the infant child up for adoption<br />
in certain circumstances.<br />
<br />
But, this gender disparity in equal protection and due process in parental rights is<br />
changing.<br />
<br />
Recently, the State of Utah adopted House Bill 308 that is designed to safeguard unwed<br />
paternal rights in regards to children six months or younger from being adopted. This law<br />
would require unwed fathers to be issued official notification of the mother’s intention to<br />
give their infant child up for adoption in certain circumstances. Once received, the father<br />
would then have 30 days to assert his rights as a parent and petition the court for custody.<br />
<br />
This closes a loophole which had allowed mothers to circumvent notifying the biological<br />
father and thus committing the ultimate act of parental alienation – terminating the fatherchild<br />
relationship forever.<br />
<br />
Common sense and fair play would argue that if an unwed mother decides to give up her<br />
rights to a child, then the biological father would automatically be given the opportunity<br />
to take custody of his child. Instead, a stranger can be given the right to adopt the child,<br />
often without the father even knowing he will never see his child again.<br />
<br />
All too often these points are treated unreasonably in many states because too many<br />
jurisdictions have rejected the rights of fathers regarding infant children born outside of<br />
marriage.<br />
<br />
The mother, it is aggressively argued, bears the burden of child birth and therefore should<br />
be the sole parent overseeing the child’s well-being and future relationship with the birth<br />
father. This not only doesn’t make sense, but can strip children of someone who has a<br />
natural biological drive to protect them – their own father.<br />
<br />
Utah isn’t the only state that has begun to tear down these antiquated attitudes against<br />
biological fathers.<br />
<br />
Recently, a legislative initiative evolved in the State of Michigan to adopt a similar law<br />
involving putative fathers. This House Bill (HB 4067), which, among other things, would<br />
allow biological fathers the right to seek to establish paternity even if the child’s mother<br />
was married to another man between the time the child was conceived and born.<br />
<br />
The new Michigan legislation would provide a detailed mechanism to establish paternity<br />
for a biological father as previous statues automatically granted paternity to the marital<br />
father.<br />
<br />
Again, common sense would dictate that the biological father, the one who conceived the<br />
child with the mother, would have rights to establish paternity and custody, but this is not<br />
always the case. Existing laws in many states not only ignore the rights of the father, but<br />
ignore the rights of the child. Who better to enjoy the legal right to defend a child’s<br />
health, education, and welfare than their biological, natural father when mom walks<br />
away?<br />
<br />
The rights of fathers should be balanced against the rights of mothers when it comes to<br />
safeguarding the well-being of their children. Equal protection and due process should<br />
exist in every state regardless of gender and marital status. Unwed fathers should not be<br />
wrongfully excluded from making decisions that are necessary in raising their children,<br />
including education, religious training, and health care. This is critical in this nation<br />
where approximately 33.1% of children are born out of wedlock.<br />
<br />
However, if there is a child placement disagreement, the child’s future is too often<br />
decided based on parental gender and marital status.<br />
<br />
Unwed fathers’ rights legislation will hopefully be enacted into law in both Utah and also<br />
in Michigan and spread throughout the nation. These are steps in the right direction to<br />
correct this unfair imbalance. Constitutional rights must apply to unwed fathers and their<br />
children too.<br />
<br />
<i>Jeffery M. Leving is the author of Fathers’ Rights and Divorce Wars, as well as the soon</i><br />
<i>to be released How to Be a Good Divorced Dad, which garnered praise from President</i><br />
<i>Barack Obama and an endorsement from Francis Cardinal George of the Archdiocese of</i><br />
<i>Chicago. He also co-authored the Illinois Joint Custody Law and is the founder of</i><br />
<i>http://dadsrights.com. Leving is a dedicated matrimonial attorney focusing on what is</i><br />
<i>best for the children – a relationship with both parents.</i><br />
<br />
endUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-18306568087502975602012-02-02T11:13:00.000-08:002012-02-02T11:13:02.449-08:00Why don’t men seek help?<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Why don’t men seek help?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">By Jeffery M. Leving<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Have you ever heard of a “shelter for battered men?”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It’s bad enough that in today’s society the odds that a marriage will fall apart are staggering. More than 40 percent of marriages end in divorce.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Worse is the fact that many men who are victims of abuse, not only do not get help, but often assume blame believing doing otherwise is a sign of weakness and “unmanly.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The idea of seeking shelter would be too humiliating for most men to accept.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Men face many stigmas and stereotypes that force them to accept blame even when they are not to blame, and discourage them from seeking professional assistance even when they should.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">These are terrible obstacles for anyone to overcome.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Society’s stereotype that men are always at fault<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The emasculating stigma of being “abused” by a woman<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The absence of programs to address abuse of fathers<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Getting men to overcome their fear that failing to accept the blame might cost them their children<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">While men are often the first to be blamed for a collapsing marital relationship, many times, the break up is driven by abuse from one spouse against the other.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In many cases, it is the husband, not the wife, who is at the receiving end of physical and emotional abuse when marriages collapse. But they won’t accept it, and remain in denial. Abusive female spouses easily hide behind societal stereotypes to disguise their abusive roles. Many people just refuse to believe the facts no matter how truthful they appear.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The tendency to not seek help is greater with men than it is with women. That may explain why men are often blamed for the collapse of a marriage. Men tend to “circle the macho wagons” because they have been taught as little kids not to cry, not to surrender, and to always be tough.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Being tough often means avoiding doing the single most important thing a parent in divorce should do to end the cycle of violence. That is, to get help.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This is a societal stigma that is difficult to overcome.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Our society defines how we think and feel as men and women. Men must be strong. Women are weak. Men go out and work and put food on the table while women stay home and raise the kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The stereotype that it’s a man’s job to shoulder the tough responsibilities also includes forcing men to accept blame even when the blame doesn’t fit. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Today’s economy is changing the dynamics of a household. In many families today, both the husband and the wife work. More and more women are looking for jobs to bring home part or all of the “bacon”.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The family nucleus is impacted by the realities of the economy and the world around us, however, the perception of guilt still often falls on the shoulders of the father who believes he has failed as the sole or primary breadwinner of the family.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In some cases, many men not only assume the blame, but refuse to get counseling for the blame they wrongly accept.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It’s a quandary that causes much consternation for fathers. It even sounds contradictory that a father would accept the blame for doing no wrong but not seek help to address the causes of a collapsed marriage which has motivated the mother to falsely assess blame.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Many men assume blame because it is our societal expectation, even though not driven by fact. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Many men feel ashamed that their wife is leaving them, they often are in denial and remain there for most of the divorce process.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Many fathers also live with the fear caused by societal stereotypes, believing that they will be stripped of their rights with their children if they report their dilemma. Fearing they will lose their children, they refrain from seeking help. Alternatively, some men accept blame believing that courts will then protect their relationships with their children. Wrong. Accepting blame is a “sacrifice” you do not want to make. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In fact, though, accepting false blame only undermines the rights of the father.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It is important for fathers involved in marital breakups to seek help immediately. They have to resist the temptation of succumbing to the stigma that somehow they are being weak by seeking help or even acknowledging that they need it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Our society needs to change. We need to recognize that abuse is not shameful nor gender specific. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Men who are victims of abuse, whether it is physical or mental, have no shame to hide.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">(Named one of “<b>America’s Best Lawyers</b>” by Forbes Radio, Jeffery Leving is the author of two ground-breaking books, </span></i><b><i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Fathers’ Rights</span></i></b><i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> and <b>Divorce Wars</b>. He can be reached at </span></i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://www.dadsrights.com/" title="blocked::http://www.dadsrights.com/"><i><span style="color: blue;">www.DadsRights.com</span></i></a><i>.)<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-24173364302276518062012-01-26T04:44:00.001-08:002012-01-26T04:44:37.142-08:00Absentee fathers a growing epidemic in America<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><b>Absentee fathers a growing epidemic in America<o:p></o:p></b></div><div class="MsoNormal">By Jeffery M. Leving</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">One in three children in America, according to the U.S. Census, live in homes where their biological father is absent.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I recognize that this trend is worsening not becoming better, reaching epidemic proportions that must be addressed.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Oftentimes we turn to the statistics, which show that this problem is acute. But sometimes we have to assess our changing cultural norms that are sometimes best portrayed in the mainstream entertainment media.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">When I was young, television had a dramatic power over manipulating our perceptions and in turn our attitudes.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The TV was filled with programs that reinforced the image of a family as being one with not only strong mothers, but strong fathers working in partnership.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Today, for a lot of reasons, that has changed. Instead of programs like <i>Father Knows Best</i>, the <i>Brady Bunch</i> or even <i>Andy of Mayberry</i> which reinforced the notion that single-parent fathers can raise their child with success in our changing world, we now have violence defining manhood to young boys and porno to watch.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We also have programs that minimize or deprecate the role of fathers.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Today’s popular TV genres about families often subjugate the role of the father to a status considered insignificant.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A good example of this is in the reality show TV genre. And one program in particular that I believe reflects this minimization of the importance of a father figure in today’s society is “Keeping up with the Kardashians.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Forget about the sex and the scandals. That’s the distraction from the real challenge we face. What I see when I watch the Kardashians is a family out of control driven by the absence of a father figure. The biological father is gone and replaced by a substitute father, Bruce Jenner, who is marginalized and often belittled in the television reality show. In fact, it seems as if his role is intentionally defined as the punching bag for all that goes wrong.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Reality shows like this are often brushed aside by some as “trash TV,” but the reality is that these types of programs can have dramatic consequences for our young people and how they engage parental responsibility and fathers rights when they come of age.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I am concerned about our society. And while I don’t want to blame the Kardashians as the only source for this trend, they are symptomatic of a wider problem.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The notion that romanticizing families with absent fathers or even weak father figures is a dangerous one, especially if it has no counter balance in our society.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And our society needs to fight to restore the parental balance in the environment in which children are raised.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We know from the data, that children raised in father-absent environments can be prone to problems and challenges that include poverty, crime and jail time, teen pregnancy, abuse, drug and alcohol abuse and even obesity.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It can be particularly acute on girls who learn to live without a caring or loving male figure in their lives, creating challenges for them in terms of how to deal with men when they become older. That could explain the excessive drama of the Kardashian girls.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The role of a father must be protected. Our judicial system needs to overcome gender bias that places all blame for divorce on the father or male partner.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This is one reason why I have been so pro-active in reaching out to help men in divorce. I recognize that defending fathers rights in divorce is not just about their share of assets and their immediate family, but also because insuring that fathers rights are protected has a direct impact on improving the world in which our children are raised. Any man’s loss of a child diminishes mankind.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The consequences of father absence is directly addressed in many of my books and publications. It’s important.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Our society has an important stake in insuring that fathers rights are protected. And one way to do that is to protect how we view fathers.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i>(Named one of “<b>America’s Best Lawyers</b>” by Forbes Radio, Jeffery Leving is the author of two ground-breaking books, <b>Fathers’ Rights</b> and <b>Divorce Wars</b>. He can be reached at </i><a href="http://www.dadsrights.com/"><i>www.DadsRights.com</i></a><i>.)<o:p></o:p></i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-76865118653880086032012-01-26T04:43:00.001-08:002012-01-26T04:43:33.572-08:00Being a good divorced dad means not giving up on your kids<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<div class="MsoNormal"><b>Being a good divorced dad means not giving up on your kids<o:p></o:p></b></div><div class="MsoNormal">By Jeffery M. Leving</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Most divorced fathers want to spend as much time as possible with their children but oftentimes, for a variety of reason, feel they can’t.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Being a “Good Divorced Dad” oftentimes depends on how much time a father is able to commit to their children. It’s one of the topics I address in detail in my new book, which comes out this Spring, “<i>How to be a Good Divorced Dad: Preventing the Divorce Process and Its After effects from Hurting Your Relationship with Your Children</i>.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Sometimes, the causes that prevent divorced fathers from becoming good dads have to do with the provisions of the divorce agreement, limiting the time they can spend with their children. Other times, the factors involve personal hurt or lack of self-esteem caused by the divorce. You may be a father physically but not in the spirit that allows you to put the strength and time into it that is required.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In many cases, divorced dads accept a restricted role that is often imposed on them by these circumstances.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But you can change that and you can be a great divorced dad who becomes a role model for your children for years to come.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">My book walks fathers through the process of identifying the obstacles that prevent divorced fathers from protecting their relationship with their children.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I call them the Seven Deadly Sins of failed divorced fatherhood. They are: the terms of the custody agreement; orders of protection; financial problems; legal trickery; gender bias; guilt; and anger.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In each instance, there is a strategy to improve the amount of time you spend with your children and to improve the quality of that time.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">For example, in the case of having to live under the terms of a very restrictive custody agreement, you can become available to your ex-wife to assist her by being there to help with the children. Too often, the personal animosity that results from many divorces prevents this, but your children need you.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">You have to watch for opportunities when your ex-spouse will need help with the children and be there to take advantage of the opportunities. And you have to strategically think about how you approach this, not feed into the anger.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">You may be hurt about the divorce. Your ex-wife may be a vengeful person. You need to control your own emotions for the benefit of your children. Why allow your former spouse’s anger to impact your relationship with your children?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A good lawyer will also be able to help with the language in your custody agreement to facilitate opportunities to increase contact with your children. They can be built into the agreement.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In each of these challenges you will want to insure that the time spent with your children is quality time. You need to work on that, but there are methods to help you do that. Planning your time with your children will vastly improve the relationship.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Having a competent, experienced attorney at your side will help avoid many of these challenges, such as avoiding an order of protection that is based on false allegations against you. Many father are coerced by guilt and a gender-biased system into believing that they must admit to fault when there is none.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">My book has a list of questions divorced dads can answer to help make them stronger and more effective divorced dads. Knowing them. Thinking about them. And answering them will help improve your experience with your children.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The point is don’t give up. Control the process of divorce in order to control your relationship. And make sure your rights are properly represented when you begin the divorce.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i>(Named one of “<b>America’s Best Lawyers</b>” by Forbes Radio, Jeffery Leving is the author of two ground-breaking books, <b>Fathers’ Rights</b> and <b>Divorce Wars</b>. He can be reached at </i><a href="http://www.dadsrights.com/"><i>www.DadsRights.com</i></a><i>.)<o:p></o:p></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-10576621354126586932012-01-25T16:45:00.001-08:002012-01-25T16:45:47.332-08:00Safety of children is always a number one concern<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<div class="MsoNormal"><b>Safety of children is always a number one concern<o:p></o:p></b></div><div class="MsoNormal">By Jeffery M. Leving and Ray Hanania</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Three senior judges on the bench in New Zealand ruled that neither the father nor the mother of a child conceived out of wedlock should be given custody of the new born baby girl.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It was the result of an unusual case that involved alleged infidelity, religious views and cultural traditions that the judges thought might result in harm to the child.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It all began when a married man had an affair with a single Muslim woman. The woman then became pregnant, but kept the pregnancy secret from her parents and brothers.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In many Third World countries, cultural tradition takes a severe view of unmarried women having affairs, let alone having a child out of wedlock. It is common in many countries, including in some parts of the Muslim World where the woman is from, that the family would punish the woman for bringing “shame” on the family name.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In many cases, the women involved are murdered by family members in a grisly practice dubbed “honor killings.” Honor killings are banned in many Muslim countries but the practice continues outside of the law and often without any punishment for the offenders. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In fact, even some families who have immigrated to Western nations like New Zealand and the United States, where the practice is considered a crime, continue to practice “honor killings.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In this case in New Zealand, the already married biological father sought custody of the child when he learned that the woman he had the affair with had a baby as a result of their affair.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But the New Zealand courts concluded that despite the fact that the father would have been the most responsible parent to raise the child, they denied the request. They also directed that the child be placed in foster care and be removed from the mother.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In their ruling, the judges, according to media reports, expressed concern that the process might result in identification of the mother and that would put the unwed Muslim woman in jeopardy of becoming the victim of an honor killing if her parents and relatives discovered her secret.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It’s an extreme example of where safety is given priority over custody in parental rights cases. In this case, the father clearly should have been given custody, but the judges feared doing so might result in the identification of the woman he knew as being the mother. That would have started a chain reaction that could have resulted in the mother being punished.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As a lawyer who represents fathers in child custody cases, I recognize that the safety of all of the principles in a relationship must be protected, including the safety of the child.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This is an unusual case where the judges believed they made the right call for everyone’s protection.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">While we often do not encounter such safety issues stemming from cultural traditions here in the United States, they can happen.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i>(Named one of “<b>America’s Best Lawyers</b>” by Forbes Radio, Jeffery Leving is the author of two ground-breaking books, <b>Fathers’ Rights</b> and <b>Divorce Wars</b>. He can be reached at </i><a href="http://www.dadsrights.com/"><i>www.DadsRights.com</i></a><i>. Ray Hanania is an award winning columnist and radio talk show host.)<o:p></o:p></i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-89109821471438684082011-12-28T12:59:00.000-08:002011-12-28T12:59:20.306-08:00Illinois Institute of Technology Recognizes Jeffery M. Leving for Outstanding Achievement<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">PRESS RELEASE<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><u><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE</span></u><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Jennifer Whiteside<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dec. 28, 2011 </span><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><a href="mailto:jwhiteside@jmlevinglawltd.com">jwhiteside@jmlevinglawltd.com</a><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Tel: </span><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">312-807-3990 ext. 236</span><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Illinois Institute of Technology Recognizes Jeffery M. Leving<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">for Outstanding Achievement<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Chicago – The Illinois Institute of Technology this week named Chicago attorney Jeffery M. Leving as a recipient of IIT’s Professional Achievement Award for 2012.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The award is given by IIT, one of the nation’s most prestigious educational institutions, and is one of the highest distinctions that can be given to one of its alumni.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The award will be presented to Leving, an accomplished attorney who concentrates in matrimonial law and fathers’ custody rights, during a luncheon that will be held April 13<sup>th</sup> at IIT’s Chicago Campus.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I am deeply honored by this award,” Leving said. “It will serve to motivate me to continue to fight for the rights of parents, including disenfranchised fathers, whose rights are often overlooked.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><strong><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;">Leving</span></strong><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> received his Juris Doctor from IIT-Chicago Kent College of Law in 1979, and is world-renowned as a pioneer of the Fathers’ Rights Movement. He is the publisher of Leving’s Divorce Magazine (<a href="http://levingsdivorcemagazine.com/">http://levingsdivorcemagazine.com</a>). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Named one of “<strong><span style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-image: initial; border-left-color: windowtext; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 1pt; border-top-color: windowtext; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 1pt; font-weight: normal; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;">America’s Best Lawyers</span></strong>” by Forbes Radio™, Jeffery M. Leving is the internationally acclaimed author of two ground-breaking <a href="http://dadsrights.com/index.php/books" title="books"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;">books</span></a>,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><em><span style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-image: initial; border-left-color: windowtext; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 1pt; border-top-color: windowtext; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 1pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;">Fathers’ Rights</span></em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>and <em><span style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-image: initial; border-left-color: windowtext; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 1pt; border-top-color: windowtext; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 1pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;">Divorce Wars</span></em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>and was selected by his peers as one of Illinois’ top attorneys.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">In 2000, Leving was chosen to draft an amicus brief to submit to the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) to reunite <em><span style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-image: initial; border-left-color: windowtext; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 1pt; border-top-color: windowtext; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 1pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;">Elián González</span></em> with his father in Cuba in the highly publicized case.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Mr. Leving serves as the governor-appointed Chairman of the Illinois Council on Responsible Fatherhood and is President Emeritus of the Fatherhood Educational Institute. In 2006, he received the President of the United States <a href="http://dadsrights.com/index.php/archives/1756" title="Service Award"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;">Service Award</span></a>, the nation’s highest honor for volunteer service directed at solving critical social problems.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">In August 2009, Mr. Leving was selected by the White House Office of Faith-Based & Neighborhood Partnerships as an expert resource to join senior White House staff and other community leaders at the first White House Community Roundtable and Town Hall Meeting on Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Families in Chicago.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> ###</span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-63762979011385532652011-12-21T10:50:00.000-08:002011-12-21T11:27:30.060-08:00Fathers Rights explored at state symposium<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=7556789856576260247&postID=6376297901138553265" name="OLE_LINK1"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=7556789856576260247&postID=6376297901138553265" name="OLE_LINK2"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Fathers Rights explored at state symposium<u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=7556789856576260247&postID=6376297901138553265" name="OLE_LINK2"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">By Ray Hanania</span></span></b></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Speakers at an annual symposium on fathers’ rights hosted by the Illinois Council on Responsible Fatherhood (ICRF) agreed Saturday, Dec. 17, that fathers need to assert their rights especially in cases involving child custody.<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">The annual symposium was held at the Oak Park Library and featured a series of guest speakers including Dr. Leon Intrater, Lois Rakov, Dr. William Martin, Attorney Joseph Sparacino, Attorney Maureen Gorman, and Justin Wooley.<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFpCQxQmTEYuyyXZ9o1jCJ2RHPz-dKZJ5CFZmLv-1E42M7lPliWvYJR22CQY9Y6QUY8f_ADSLO62ziImuK-Y6ybTk0uA6ugvMpv1N_y86eMmCdJVoYO4KXEdUZshZlOAAUgTLmbTWwW30_/s1600/icrf-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFpCQxQmTEYuyyXZ9o1jCJ2RHPz-dKZJ5CFZmLv-1E42M7lPliWvYJR22CQY9Y6QUY8f_ADSLO62ziImuK-Y6ybTk0uA6ugvMpv1N_y86eMmCdJVoYO4KXEdUZshZlOAAUgTLmbTWwW30_/s400/icrf-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><u1:p style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #0000ee;"><u><br />
</u></span></u1:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">The council is chaired and organized by noted custody attorney Jeffery M. Leving who welcomed guests and speakers and explained that the purpose of the ICRF is to do everything to insure that children have an involved father in their lives.<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“One third of all children born in <st1:state u2:st="on"><st1:place u2:st="on">Illinois</st1:place></st1:state> are born out of wedlock and many won’t know their father,” Leving told the gathering.<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“The Safe Haven Law, which allows mothers to abandon their newborn children without responsibility, does not require those mothers to notify the fathers of their actions. Children that are father-absent are more likely to engage in crime and develop behavioral disorders. We recognize that a father’s absence can have a terrible impact on our children and that is the key focus of this government body.”<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Intrater, whose firm Intrater & Associates provides professional psychosocial services for youth and adults, said that a key challenge that fathers face in custody cases is “parental alienation.”<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“The Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is the act of influencing a child or children against one of the parents. PAS, however, is often not considered a valid diagnosis in mental disorders. Most psychologists look at any behavior of a parent or by others to create a separation, physical, cognitive or emotional against one of the parents as being serious,” Intrater said.<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Intrater explained that the PAS can take many forms from aggressive lobbying by one parent to negatively portray the other parent to their children to the point where children are influenced to “fear” the parent, thereby influencing the custody decision.<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“The court orders on these circumstances don't address the subtleties that are sometimes created but that have huge consequences that create alienation among children against one of the parents,” Intrater said.<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Loyalty conflicts are created.... It is often seen in children associated with PAS. Children are made to feel that if they say something that contradicts the mother's view, they will be punished.”<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Intrater said that many children are often totally alienated against the father by the mother and that alienation will often obscure the clearly questionable actions of conduct of the mother.<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">He said that recognizing PAS can help bring balance to the lives of children in custody battles. But, Intrater said, there is not enough advocacy in this area of parental rights.<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Rakov told the symposium that the state offers many resources for both fathers and mothers. She said the stereotype for many years was that parental involvement was only defined as the mother’s involvement and the involvement of fathers was not sought.<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“We are seeing more and more resources being made available to fathers and fathers organizations on this concern,” Rakov said. She said that it also helps when grandparents also get involved as long as the priority concern is “the best interests of the children.”<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Martin, a professor at <st1:place u2:st="on"><st1:placename u2:st="on">Chicago</st1:placename> <st1:placetype u2:st="on">State</st1:placetype> <st1:placetype u2:st="on">University</st1:placetype></st1:place> and the author of several books on parenting, said society has always recognized mothers as single parents, but he said there is a growing population of single fathers.<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Many fathers are single fathers. They have a child but don’t live with the mother. It’s a growing population. In 1998, 1 in 6 fathers were single fathers. Today, it is 1 in 5,” Martin said.<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Martin said that single fathers need support to help them recognize issues that their children face. <u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Fathers need outside help and a strong support system that is different from moms.... A lot of fathers don’t know how to get kids into pre-school or into schools,” Martin said. “Education is important and something that we need to look at more closely.”<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Wooley, who is the program coordinator with Haymarket, one of the largest centers for substance abuse treatment, said both fathers and mothers need support services. <u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“We do a lot of work with fathers,” Wooley said. “We try to insure we are addressing fatherhood in a responsible way when we take a look at the skills that they have.”<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Wooley said that the needs of fathers have been overlooked in the past.<u1:p></u1:p></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“We must assist them in rebuilding their families and their lives and to make sure the fathers have the necessary support to be the responsible fathers that they can be,” Wooley said.<br />
</span><i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">For more information on the Illinois Council on Responsible Fatherhood, visit their web site at </span><a href="http://www.responsiblefatherhood.illinois.gov/"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">www.ResponsibleFatherhood.Illinois.Gov</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">.</span></i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-35744326669035501982011-12-20T19:22:00.001-08:002011-12-20T19:22:50.766-08:00Leving Legal Team Rescues Child from Ransacked Home<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif";">Leving Legal Team Rescues Child from Ransacked Home<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%;"><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%;">CHICAGO</span></st1:city></st1:place><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%;"> – Dec. 21, 2011 – Prominent custody litigators Arthur Kallow and <st1:personname w:st="on">Leslie Arenson</st1:personname> of the Law Offices of Jeffery M. Leving. Ltd., obtained possession of a 14-year-old child after she was found to be living in a potentially dangerous environment. Cook County Judge Martha A. Mills ordered a transfer of possession of the young child to her father this week.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%;">The 14-year-old girl was identified to be living at the home of an unrelated 35-year-old <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">La Grange</st1:place></st1:city> man, Anthony Valerio, who is currently being investigated on drug charges. <br />
<br />
According to court documents, the home where the child was residing was ransacked in a home invasion by three suspects using firearms on Dec. 9, 2011. A subsequent investigation led La Grange Police to arrest Valerio on drug charges. That is when the child’s father Oscar Arcineigas leapt into action to immediately obtain possession of his daughter.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%;">Judge Mills entered an order stating that the mother, “shall not expose the child to Anthony Valerio and shall not bring the child to any location in which illegal drugs are present or otherwise expose the child to illegal drugs.” Valerio has a history of alleged illegal drug violations.<br />
<br />
Attorney Art Kallow stressed the vital importance of the kind of environment a child should have. “Growing up, a child’s home should be a nest of protection and safety, but that is not always the case. Generally speaking, residences that double as places of commerce for illegal drugs are simply unsafe and put the child’s interests last.”<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%;">“Children are often the innocent victims when illegal drug-trafficking and a culture of violence become a part of their daily lives,” said Attorney <st1:personname w:st="on">Leslie Arenson</st1:personname>. “The health, well-being and safety of children is our top priority.”<br />
<br />
The next court date is set for February 9, 2012 at 10:00AM in the <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placename w:st="on">Richard</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st="on">J.</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st="on">Daley</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st="on">Center</st1:placetype></st1:place> in Courtroom CL12 before Judge Mills.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%;"><st1:personname w:st="on"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%;">Jeffery Leving</span></st1:personname><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%;"> is the publisher of Leving’s Divorce Magazine. (http://<a href="http://www.levingsdivorcemagazine.com/">levingsdivorcemagazine.com</a>). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 120%;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 120%;">For more information, please contact Jennifer Whiteside at 312.296.3666.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-72122940361200108992011-12-12T04:05:00.001-08:002011-12-12T04:05:25.897-08:00The Internet Spin Factor Never Stops<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><b>The Internet Spin Factor Never Stops<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></b></div><div class="MsoNormal">By Jeffery M. Leving</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">There is an old saying “Never let the facts get in the way of a good story.” It means that the story oftentimes is more interesting and even more believable than the truth.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Never has that been more appropriate than in the case of the custody battle waged between parents, Kane Snyder and Alaina Giordano for their two young children.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Snyder has been granted custody of the children. And, as is often the case, the judicial system and the father are being targeted with angry attacks, animosity and blame. The idea that a father has as much right to the care for his children in a parental custody case as a mother has many people up in arms.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The news media looks for stories with unusual twists and this case has many. The Internet is playing its own role, too, with the inability to monitor truth on the World Wide Web. Social media sites like Facebook have been exploding with more and more inaccuracies about this case.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The most obscene inaccuracy is that Snyder was given custody of his two children because the mother, Giordano, has breast cancer. It’s an ugly accusation and even though it is not supported by the court’s decision, the idea that a mother is being denied custody for the sole reason that she has breast cancer has taken on a life of its own.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Ms. Giordano does have breast cancer and everyone, including her children’s father, ought to have nothing but sympathy for the medical plight that she faces.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But sympathy for her physical challenges is no reason for others to demonize the father, nor should the assertion that the only reason Snyder received custody is because the mother has breast cancer be given credence by those who likely have not read a lengthy and well-reasoned opinion by the trial judge.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It’s just not correct.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Snyder was given custody based on a court decision that is a public record that anyone can access. Fathers have rights in family court. Those rights are often pushed aside out of gender-bias issues and societal prejudices. And sadly, those prejudices often fuel the willingness of the public to believe insidious and misleading claims.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Let’s remember that the mother has access to the children. Presumably when the mother is fully established in the <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Chicago</st1:place></st1:city> area and has appropriate facilities to accommodate the children, the parties shall share equal parenting time as contemplated in the court’s ruling.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The father has employment and the mother is unemployed. That situation factored in the judge’s ruling. Children need a stable home to live in throughout their minority.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The needs of the children are the priority in this case – not the needs of the parents.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">People sometimes want to believe things not because they are true, but because they neatly and conveniently fit into a stereotype. That stereotype in the case of parental custody rights weighs heavily against fathers.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As I see it, Mr. Snyder is a loving and caring father. Moreover, the court record speaks for itself.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But to prejudice this case by asserting dubious claims is a disservice not only to the children at the heart of this custody battle, but also an injustice to our system of judicial fairness and rights.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Snyder was found to be the preferred parent by the court after all factors were considered, and that is why he was awarded custody.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i>(<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="background: white;">Named one of “</span></span><strong><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;">America’s Best Lawyers</span></strong><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="background: white;">” by Forbes Radio, Jeffery Leving is the author of two ground-breaking</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white;"> </span></span></i><a href="http://dadsrights.com/index.php/books/" title="blocked::http://dadsrights.com/index.php/books/
books"><i><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: black; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">books</span></i></a><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">, Fathers’ Rights and Divorce Wars. He can be reached at www.DadsRights.com.)</span></i></span><i><o:p></o:p></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-31378651326613875212011-12-06T15:48:00.000-08:002011-12-06T15:48:09.073-08:00Leving meets with President Obama<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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Fathers Rights attorney and author Jeffery M. Leving was invited to join a select group of Chicagoland thought leaders at a private VIP reception for President Barack Obama recently.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXvcP3j7f9suxRfA3krIfTjRkofIE-MScKRnE3GBUhisPiDuvA5wEoWF_zCKa8N8YiZ-yQbFsmKi9ytoPuxq2-TH8lozEnP-amL2VePXvOb0fwmvCd_e0nslba56ctI46sYlzS0g9UZsEm/s1600/LevingObama.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXvcP3j7f9suxRfA3krIfTjRkofIE-MScKRnE3GBUhisPiDuvA5wEoWF_zCKa8N8YiZ-yQbFsmKi9ytoPuxq2-TH8lozEnP-amL2VePXvOb0fwmvCd_e0nslba56ctI46sYlzS0g9UZsEm/s320/LevingObama.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Nq8AyjuhTXr_5Iqm-BJmm9bvskvShNZo01piIKnmyEma0CNm8Z-iF9phaak619lbE4rjqDF4VHCxRO_iI7It_R2S8GYAiCOdpRSnM8lodDoTTpPOLhl3hJGUzYml1NZ_ddeL6ayRDsMa/s1600/LevingObama2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Nq8AyjuhTXr_5Iqm-BJmm9bvskvShNZo01piIKnmyEma0CNm8Z-iF9phaak619lbE4rjqDF4VHCxRO_iI7It_R2S8GYAiCOdpRSnM8lodDoTTpPOLhl3hJGUzYml1NZ_ddeL6ayRDsMa/s320/LevingObama2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-55790667195629654252011-12-01T10:11:00.000-08:002011-12-01T10:11:01.729-08:00Fathers Need to Be Part of Their Children’s Lives<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Fathers Need to Be Part of Their Children’s Lives</span></b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> <br />
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By Jeffery M. Leving<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">One reason why I pursue justice for the rights of fathers is because I believe that dads are an irreplaceable part of their children’s lives.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">It sounds almost anti-climactic, but fatherhood is a critical component for the healthy development of many children. However, it’s often taken for granted, and often abused during the traumatic experience of divorce.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">In other words, not having a father present in a child’s life only adds to the disadvantages that child may face in the world. The best scenario is when both parents are involved but often, as we know, the parent most often absent from a child’s development is the father, and not because of the father’s choice.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">On Dec. 17<sup>th</sup>, the State of <u1:state u2:st="on"><u1:place u2:st="on"><st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Illinois</st1:place></st1:state></u1:place></u1:state> will host a free symposium on Fathers’ Rights & Responsibilities. The theme – “Be a Part of Your Children’s Lives” – will help attendees understand how they can be better fathers and why fathers must stand up for their rights when it comes to their children.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Hosted by the Illinois Council on Responsible Fatherhood (ICRF), the annual statewide symposium will be held on Saturday, December 17, 2011, from 12:30PM to 3:00PM at the Oak Park Library, <u1:address u2:st="on"><u1:street u2:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on"><st1:street w:st="on">834 Lake St.</st1:street></st1:address></u1:street>, <u1:city u2:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Oak Park</st1:city></u1:city></u1:address>. There is no fee to attend this community event, but it is important to RSVP because space is limited.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Through responsible fatherhood educational programming and advocacy, the ICRF promotes the positive involvement of both parents in the lives of their children.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">The symposium will explore several important topics: Parental Alienation; Updates affecting Child Support and Fatherhood; Fatherhood Updates; Fathers Rights; and, Male Involvement.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">We often take these issues for granted, but we should not.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">The laws change quickly and often with respect to parenting rights and responsibilities in the eyes of the judicial system. It’s important, especially if you are involved in a divorce, to understand how your rights are impacted.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">What are your rights as fathers? It seems like another simple question, but unfortunately when you ask many fathers, they just don’t know. That’s one reason why fathers often agree to surrender their rights, because they are unsure of the rights that they do have with respect to their children.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">How important is the role of a male in a child’s life? That’s a question we ask ourselves but often are not willing to answer in favor of expediting a divorce or to satisfy the other spouse.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Children need a positive male influence in their life. This Symposium will help fathers recognize how important their role in the raising of their children is, and also how they can remain pivotal in influencing their children’s lives.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><i>For more information on attending the Symposium hosted by Illinois Council on Responsible Fatherhood visit <a href="outbind://180/www.responsiblefatherhood.illinois.gov"><span style="color: windowtext;">www.responsiblefatherhood.illinois.gov</span></a> or contact Jennifer Whiteside at 312-296-3666 or Governor-Appointed Chairman and Fathers Rights attorney Jeffery M. Leving at 312-296-8685.</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-35602759430515134072011-11-29T07:40:00.000-08:002011-11-29T12:32:17.738-08:00State Hosted Symposium Explores Importance of Fathers in Raising Children Dec. 17<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSgymUitrSbpt6j0n9JwkWAkf1zfwnRGW5ZW1_4wKjtqgo5v2jGrVYQHww0LYXVOkqu09JotSsWDA7EmfwqjIsTo3eHYCt69OOBUFjs3CU3DIwEt_og-ibGsLRp6OEr9RibpMYSKMAuxMq/s1600/IlFathersRightsLogo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="70" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSgymUitrSbpt6j0n9JwkWAkf1zfwnRGW5ZW1_4wKjtqgo5v2jGrVYQHww0LYXVOkqu09JotSsWDA7EmfwqjIsTo3eHYCt69OOBUFjs3CU3DIwEt_og-ibGsLRp6OEr9RibpMYSKMAuxMq/s400/IlFathersRightsLogo.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><u style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE <o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><br />
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</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">State Hosted Symposium Explores Importance <o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">of Fathers in Raising Children<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><br />
(<st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Oak Park</st1:place></st1:city>) - Nov. 28, 2011 -- The Illinois Council on Responsible Fatherhood (ICRF) is sponsoring their Annual Statewide Symposium on Saturday, December 17, 2011, from 12:30 PM to 3:00 PM at the Oak Park Public Library, <st1:address w:st="on"><st1:street w:st="on">834 Lake St.</st1:street> <st1:city w:st="on">Oak Park</st1:city></st1:address>. This community event is open to the public and there is no fee to attend. It is important to RSVP as space is limited.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">Through responsible fatherhood educational programming and advocacy, The Illinois Council on Responsible Fatherhood promotes the positive involvement of both parents in the lives of their children.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">“Fathers need to understand how critical their role is in parenting for their children to be successful and productive members of our society,” said Attorney Jeffery M. Leving, the Governor-appointed chairman of the ICRF.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">“The symposium will help fathers and the public at-large better understand why paternal involvement is important.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">Leving is considered a legal expert on fathers’ rights and the rights of children, and appears often on national news and analysis programs to discuss those topics.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";">Contact <st1:personname w:st="on">Jennifer Whiteside</st1:personname> or Chairman of the ICRF, Attorney Jeffery M. Leving at (312) 296-8656 for more information. <br />
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Visit <a href="file:///C:/Users/Ray/AppData/Local/Microsoft/Windows/Temporary%20Internet%20Files/Content.Outlook/RFBH20Q0/www.responsiblefatherhood.illinois.gov"><span style="color: blue;">www.responsiblefatherhood.illinois.gov</span></a>.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-32086829984030227162011-11-15T04:48:00.001-08:002011-11-15T04:48:24.829-08:00Safe Haven Law Tramples Fathers’ Rights<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<div class="MsoNormal"><b>Safe Haven Law Tramples Fathers’ Rights</b><br />
<i>Fathers Should be Given Custody of Safe Haven Babies</i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
By Jeffery M. Leving</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A day doesn’t go by that you won’t find a story about a baby that has been abandoned by their mother. Oftentimes, those children come from broken families or unmarried mothers who have broken ties with the father.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Like many states, Illinois has a law called “Safe Haven (The Abandoned Newborn Infant Protection Act enacted in 2001) which permits mothers to abandon any child unharmed within seven days of the child’s birth at a “safe haven” location including <span class="apple-style-span">hospitals, emergency medical facilities, fire stations, and police stations that have staff present. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span">All designated safe havens must have a safe haven sign posted in a conspicuous place on the exterior of the building.</span><span class="apple-converted-space"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-converted-space">When a mother abandons a child at a designated “safe haven,” and the child is unharmed, no effort will be made to find the mother or charge the mother with abandonment or cruelty to a child.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-converted-space">It’s supposed to be an alternative to leaving children in dumpsters, where many end up. Despite the law, in the past weeks, two children were found abandoned in the <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Chicago</st1:city></st1:place> area.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A newborn girl was illegally abandoned in the parking lot of a <st1:place w:st="on">Schaumburg</st1:place> church. The child was discovered before it could have died from exposure. In <st1:place w:st="on">Streamwood</st1:place>, a newborn boy was illegally abandoned in a trash can after he was strangled.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The focus of the “Safe Haven” law has been to provide alternatives to mothers who wish to abandon their children so that the children will have a chance to survive. In the case of the <st1:place w:st="on">Schaumburg</st1:place> girl, she was lucky. The <st1:place w:st="on">Streamwood</st1:place> boy was not. Both cases are under investigation and the individuals responsible could be charged.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Had the babies been taken to “Safe Havens,” no effort would have been made to find the mothers or to press any charges, as long as the children were unharmed.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But what is missing from this law is an important component. Many of the abandoned children are left by their mothers.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Even when the children are taken to “Safe Havens,” the law assumes that both of the parents of the child (it does take two human beings, one male and one female, to produce a child) have abandoned the baby.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That’s not always the case. What is often the case is that the mother abandons the child and the father is never informed. No effort is made by authorities in “Safe Haven” cases to determine if the father of the abandoned child may wish to have custody.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Just because one parent decides to abandon a child does not mean both parents want to abandon the child.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Yet fathers of newborns are left out of the equation.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-converted-space">Because the two parents are often not married, the rights of the fathers are often pushed aside or subjugated to the will and whim of the birth mother.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-converted-space">That is unfair to a child and to those fathers who would be willing to assume responsibility for the abandoned child’s well-being.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-converted-space">Society needs to insure that a birth father of a baby is first entitled to notice and the opportunity to assume custody before his child is abandoned and left with strangers forever.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i>(Named one of “<b>America’s Best Lawyers</b>” by Forbes Radio, <st1:personname w:st="on">Jeffery Leving</st1:personname> is the author of two ground-breaking books, <b>Fathers’ Rights</b> and <b>Divorce Wars</b>. He can be reached at </i><a href="http://www.dadsrights.com/"><i>www.DadsRights.com</i></a><i>.)<o:p></o:p></i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-76517545488213423742011-11-04T08:54:00.000-07:002011-11-04T08:55:08.337-07:00Emotion can be a father’s worst enemy<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<b>Emotion can be a father’s worst enemy</b><br />
<b>By Jeffery M. Leving</b><br />
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Too often, fathers go into a divorce with the wrong attitude. Sometimes it is out of anger due to victimization and sometimes it is out of surrender driven by depression. Divorce is driven by individual emotions so it is not surprising. But controlling your emotions is a key to insuring that fathers’ rights are protected.<br />
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Many fathers are far too willing to merely sign-off on a divorce. In far too many cases that I have seen, a spouse will seek legal advice from a divorce lawyer, and then present her husband with a proposed legal settlement.<br />
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Wanting to be as supportive as they can, many fathers will “trust” that their rights have been protected by their spouse’s attorney.<br />
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But that is rarely the case, if ever.<br />
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The spouse’s attorney is vested with the responsibility to do what’s best for his or her client. That means not only trying to get a fair and equitable division of the marriage assets for their client, but also getting more. “More” often includes excessive child support and maintenance for the spouse. It may often include custody issues involving children, if there are any in the marriage. More often than not, it will involve property rights with the balance going to the spouse. Unfairly. Wrongly. And unequitably.<br />
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In order to protect your rights, a father must stand up first for his rights, the rights of his children and the rights to property and assets. You cannot take anything for granted.<br />
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That means never – I repeat never – accept and sign a divorce agreement without having your own lawyer carefully examine the contract’s details and the circumstances of the marriage dissolution. Otherwise, you can become a target looking for an arrow.<br />
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Too often, fathers believe they are doing the best for their family, even divided, by simply surrendering in a divorce and by not contesting divorce demands from the spouse.<br />
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Too often, fathers will surrender their rights without even knowing what rights they have surrendered, or how the divorce agreement they are signing will impact their lives and their relationship with their children. <br />
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You must get competent legal assistance. Although many people believe that settling using one lawyer, often times the spouse’s attorney, will save them money and reduce the cost of a divorce, in almost every case, the costs soar and the complications that are caused by an unfair agreement drive those costs up even more. Not to mention the stress and mental trauma that will accompany signing away one's rights without even knowing what they signed away.<br />
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Always consult a lawyer. It can’t hurt as much as not consulting with one.<br />
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Fathers’ rights can only be protected when a father makes the conscious decision to do what’s right for his family. An equitable divorce settlement will pave the way for better future relations, less stress and an environment that will be most conducive for the development and growth of the children.<br />
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Oftentimes, it will also save both sides money.<br />
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You need to find an empathetic attorney to represent you who understands these issues and challenges. You need an attorney who can help you stay in control of your emotions, recognize and avoid unfavorable custody arrangements, and protect your relationship with your children.<br />
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Shared parenting agreements are manageable when the father has professional and proper representation.<br />
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Don’t let your emotions drive you into an agreement that you will realize later was wrong, unfair and not in the best interests of your children or yourself.<br />
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It is when you are getting a divorce that you have the most control of your own future and of your fathers' rights.<br />
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<i>(Named one of “America’s Best Lawyers” by Forbes Radio, Jeffery Leving is the author of two ground-breaking books, Fathers’ Rights and Divorce Wars. He can be reached at www.DadsRights.com.)</i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-62665187396581612452011-10-27T14:23:00.001-07:002011-10-27T14:23:46.542-07:00Holidays offer chance to reinforce relations with children<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">Holidays offer chance to reinforce relations with children<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">By Jeffery M. Leving<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">Fathers’ rights include custody of children and assets but also include responsibilities, especially to their children during the holidays.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">Most fathers who fight for their custody rights understand this, even though the challenges of divorce, separation and the legal custody issues can distract from some basic everyday responsibilities.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">When I speak with fathers, especially after we have secured their rights through the legal system, I impress on them the need to become actively involved in their childrens <span> </span>lives.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">So how do you do this? Well, knowing what children are doing in school and spending time with them to insure they understand their school work is important. Fathers can be powerful role models for their children and they need to play an active part in their childrens lives.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">But it’s not all work. There are many fun things fathers can and should do with their children. Maybe that means taking a vacation, or maybe that means simply participating in something the children enjoy, especially if those children are young.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">This month presents a great opportunity for fathers to engage their children in a responsible and productive way.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">It’s Halloween and most children love Halloween.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">Here’s some pointers for fathers to participate in a fun way with their children this Halloween.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">Go along with the children for the fun. It’s not only great for the kids to have their fathers with them, but it is also good for dads. It can help ease the stress of everyday work outside of the home.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">You can either purchase a costume for your children or you can help them make a costume.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">Fathers should always accompany children when they go Trick or Treating, especially young children.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">Join with other parents and help strengthen the community bond and your involvement in your community. It’s a good way to introduce yourself to other parents in your neighborhood, who can also help to respond to family needs.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">Only go to those houses in your neighborhood and that you are familiar with. Adults can and should plan out the route that their children will take as they go house-to-house and Trick or Treat.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">It’s not just all fun, games and candy. It is also about safety. Prepare your children for safety for evening Trick or Treating. Make sure your children have a flashlight or a “glow stick” so kids can see cars and motorists can see the children. Make sure the costume, if it is store purchased, has reflective material on it so the children can be better seen in the evening.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">If the costumes are homemade, place a reflective strip down the back and the arms.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">Finally, you want to make sure your children are having fun. Let them run a little. Don’t “dote” on their actions. Try to give them some area of responsibility as a part of the event. Explain it to them that they are responsible for their conduct and how they present themselves, and you are there to help them enjoy their evening of Trick or Treating.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">And if you haven’t been out with your children in a long time, you might even consider dressing up with them. Younger children especially will enjoy that. The older the children get, obviously, the more they want to show their own independence. Give them room. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">Halloween is an excellent opportunity for fathers to engage their children in a positive, constructive and fun way. So make the most of it and keep them safe!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">(Named one of “<b>America’s Best Lawyers</b>” by Forbes Radio, <st1:personname w:st="on">Jeffery Leving</st1:personname> is the author of two ground-breaking books, </span></i><b><i><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";">Fathers’ Rights</span></i></b><i><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif";"> and <b>Divorce Wars</b>.<span style="color: black;"> He can be reached at </span><u><span style="color: blue;"><a href="http://www.dadsrights.com/">www.DadsRights.com</a></span></u><span style="color: black;">.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-3584523025936217872011-10-19T05:40:00.000-07:002011-10-20T08:15:05.706-07:00As economy worsens, societies seeks wrong answers<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><b>As economy worsens, societies seeks wrong answers</b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">By Jeffery M. Leving<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">It is always shocking to see what otherwise rational people will do when they face economic hardships.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">We’ve seen an increase in bank robberies as cash-strapped individuals and families desperately find ways to pay their bills and put food on their table.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">But it’s not just individuals and families making these bad choices. Everyone is feeling the pinch of the worsening economy, including local city and state governments. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">It’s human nature to make choices in order to survive, even the wrong choices. In some cases, governments are looking at ways to save money by throwing out laws and services, rather than looking at ways to make those laws and services do what they were intended to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">In Topeka, Kansas, for example, the City Council there announced it was going to stop prosecuting domestic violence cases in order to save money in their budget.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The cash-strapped city was responding to a decision by their local Shawnee County state’s attorney who said days before he could no longer afford to prosecute misdemeanor cases, including domestic violence. City officials said that it would require them to repeal the code which makes domestic battery a crime. More than 30 domestic violence cases have been dropped and 16 individuals already arrested in domestic violence cases have been released.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Tragically, the economic hardships on our society are putting the spotlight on the wrong aspects of issues that do need to be addressed.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Many laws created with good intentions to protect female victims of domestic violence are often misused to prosecute innocent men.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">This is especially true in divorce and custody cases where orders of protection and false domestic battery charges are often used to pressure dads into unfair custody settlements; you give up your kids or go to jail! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">However, abandoning all prosecution isn't the answer either, because there are real victims of domestic violence, both male and female, many left unprotected. And when the law responds to economic hardships but does nothing to remediate broken or abused laws, that creates an even bigger problem for everyone.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Several years ago, my secretary was murdered by her husband. We had obtained an order of protection against her husband before he fatally hit her in the head with a hammer in close proximity of a suburban police station!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I also represented <span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">a</span> prominent lawyer who was arrested on a false charge of domestic battery. Fortunately in his case, we had access to video surveillance that cleared my client of the false criminal charge. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Not all men are this lucky! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The solution we need is to fix what is broken, not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Fixing our broken legal system, not abandoning it, is something that all governments need to address in a serious way.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">One of the steps is to impose accountability for making false domestic violence charges. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">This eventually will decrease the fraud and free-up important resources for the real victims often unprotected.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Additionally, "quality assurance" through effective and competent financial management as well as ending the wasteful spending of government funding will free-up tax dollars necessary to protect the welfare and safety of all Americans. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">We need a better system of "checks and balances" to safeguard the general public against the greed whittling down our government assets.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">If there is an upside to the extreme actions of the government in Topeka, Kansas, it is to look at areas where improved legal processes and laws can actually save more money than merely throwing them out.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">No one benefits when domestic battery laws are tossed. But insuring that domestic violence is prosecuted fairly and properly and that it is not used as a weapon by some to pressure husbands to sacrifice more in divorces can save far more money over the long term.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">If governments want to save money, they need to insure that laws are created to respond to real need in a fair and just manner and to prevent opportunities for some to exploit and misuse them.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Topeka, Kansas isn’t the only city that could find solutions to their economic challenges by reviewing their laws and identifying those that are too often abused.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(<span class="yiv1262287959apple-style-span"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">Named one of “</span></span><b><span style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-left-color: windowtext; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 1pt; border-top-color: windowtext; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 1pt; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;">America’s Best Lawyers</span></b><span class="yiv1262287959apple-style-span"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">” by Forbes Radio, Jeffery Leving is the author of two ground-breaking</span></span><span class="yiv1262287959apple-converted-space"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"> </span></span></span></i><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="http://dadsrights.com/index.php/books/" target="_blank" title="books"><i><span style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-left-color: windowtext; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 1pt; border-top-color: windowtext; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 1pt; color: black; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;">books</span></i></a><span class="yiv1262287959apple-style-span"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">, Fathers’ Rights and Divorce Wars. He can be reached at </span></i></span><a href="http://www.dadsrights.com/" target="_blank"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">www.DadsRights.com</span></i></a><span class="yiv1262287959apple-style-span"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">.)</span></i></span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;"><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-31246212023594692482011-10-07T12:44:00.000-07:002011-10-07T12:44:24.848-07:00The power of fatherhood in film<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>The power of fatherhood in film</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By Jeffery M. Leving</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Hollywood</st1:city></st1:place>
doesn’t make a lot of movies about fatherhood, but they love to make movies
about divorce, conflict and tragedy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yet the image of fathers that most people have is one that
has been defined by the movies and television shows that we view. It’s a skewed
perception that is often inaccurate.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Many fathers believe that their rights are automatically
lost in a divorce, but that is not true, of course. Oftentimes, fathers have
powerful rights over property and their children that are too often forfeited
or lost for the wrong reasons.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Recently, though, <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Hollywood</st1:city></st1:place>
has produced one movie about the importance of fatherhood called “Courageous.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The film was produced by Michael Catt, a Baptist minister from
<st1:placename w:st="on">Sherwood</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st="on">Baptist</st1:placename>
<st1:placetype w:st="on">Church</st1:placetype> in <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Albany</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st="on">Georgia</st1:country-region></st1:place>.
Although many may view the film as a religious-themed production intended to
push audiences to embrace Christianity, the film speaks to truisms in our
society about fatherhood, although in a very dramatic manner.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As we all know, drama in <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Hollywood</st1:city></st1:place> and on television have become the
most effective tools for educating many Americans. We learn about everything
from the fundamentals of the <st1:place w:st="on">Middle East</st1:place>
conflict to our rights in the judicial system by watching television or going
to the big screen.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s why I support the religious ministry that is the
foundation of the new film “Courageous”. Behind the plot are fundamental
truisms about fatherhood and the role of father’s in family structures.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The plot of the movie is simple: Four police officers and
fathers face personal tragedy and conflict in the film and they are forced to
choose between becoming strong fathers or losing control of their families and
their sons.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d6d6d6;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What does it take to be a real father? It takes someone
willing to stand up as much for their own rights as it does standing up for the
rights of your family and especially your children.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fathers do not fight for their rights because it gives them
power. They do so because it sets an example for their children. The cause of
fatherhood is one that allows fathers to fight for what is right and to fight
for their rights.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I counsel many fathers who find themselves in the middle of
divorce. It is not easy. But I always try to remind them what they are fighting
for. Sometimes they feel it is easy to walk away from a fight, believing the
fight – which can be a strong word – can also be destructive or a bad influence
on their children. In reality, standing up for your rights is the example that
fathers must set for their children.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Defending what is right may take “courage”, as detailed in
the movie, but it also takes conviction, the responsibility to do what’s right.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wish <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Hollywood</st1:city></st1:place>
would make movies about progressive paternal involvement and portray fathers
accurately as the caring and responsible people that the majority are. But
that’s not the case. So anytime a movie comes to the big screen that tells a
fundamental story of fatherly courage and responsibility, I am supportive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes, you can’t save a family as a whole. But, you can
take steps to save its important components, beginning with yourself and your
children.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Finding the courage to make the right decisions and follow
the right course of action can seem daunting. But in the end, the people that
benefit the most are the ones closest to your heart, your children.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><span style="color: black;">(</span></i><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black;">Named one of “</span></i></span><strong><i><span style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-left-color: windowtext; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 1pt; border-top-color: windowtext; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 1pt; color: black; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;">America’s Best Lawyers</span></i></strong><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black;">” by Forbes Radio, Jeffery Leving is the author
of two ground-breaking</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black;"> </span></i></span><a href="http://dadsrights.com/index.php/books/" title="books"><i><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;">books</span></i></a><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: black;">, Fathers’ Rights and Divorce Wars. He can be
reached at </span></i></span><a href="http://www.dadsrights.com/"><i><span style="background: white; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">www.DadsRights.com</span></i></a><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: black;">. For more information on the film Courageous,
visit www.courageousthemovie.com.)</span></i></span></span><i><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7556789856576260247.post-69204019956164710522011-09-28T17:13:00.000-07:002011-09-28T18:19:13.608-07:00Fathers' rights need to be defended<a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=rayhanania"><img alt="Bookmark and Share" height="16" src="http://s7.addthis.com/static/btn/lg-share-en.gif" style="border: 0;" width="125" /></a><script src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js?pub=rayhanania" type="text/javascript">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Fathers' rights need to be defended</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By Jeffery M. Leving</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fathers’ rights are almost always side stepped, yet they are
extremely important when it comes to insuring the proper growth and maturity of
young children.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Without a father present in a child’s life, statistics show,
a child faces a greater future of uncertainty.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Too often, father’s are either reluctant to fight for their
rights in a dissolving marriage or believe that surrendering their rights in a
divorce avoids a confrontation and is therefore in the best interests of the
children. This is unfortunate.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is also the societal belief perpetrated by gender bias
that the raising of children in a divorced family must always be handled by the
mother. That’s not the case.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s not. The best way for a father to guarantee the future
of his child or children is to insure that they remain a part of his life. Oftentimes, that means retaining custody of the children.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fathers need to understand that they must insist on their
rights when seeking to protect the best interests of their children. They need
to understand them. It is not what they know that will hurt them, but what they
don’t know. They’re not fighting just for themselves, but for their children.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In many years of defending the rights of fathers, I’ve seen
that it is not as difficult as it sometimes seems. Fathers who have stood up
for what they believed in have, in most cases, retained their rights and remained active and
involved in the lives of their children.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A divorce is not an easy experience for anyone, but fathers
can help preserve the integrity of their relationship with their children
simply by asserting those rights. Don’t give up your rights believing that you are
doing your children a favor by avoiding conflict. In many cases, conflict is
inevitable even when a father surrenders
his custody rights to his spouse. It’s important to not surrender those
rights when your children need you, and to insure that you have a say in your
children’s futures.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is also true for visitation and parenting time. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Protecting your visitation and parenting time helps insure
your role in your children’s lives at school, after school and in their
everyday extra-curricular activities including in sports and music and even the
Scouts.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fatherless children are at a greater risk than other
children. They are more vulnerable to incidents of abuse when a father is not
present. They are also more susceptible to drug and alcohol use. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is no way to predict what challenges fatherless children
might face in the future. But you can fight the odds which have shown that
children who do not have a father in their lives are more susceptible to
problems across the board.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Insuring that the father remains in their lives minimizes
the disruption to their lives, and that’s a critical goal.</div>
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You may not be able to save your marriage. You may not be
able to maintain even a cordial relationship with an ex-spouse. But, by protecting
your parental rights, you will likely insure that the interests of your children
are protected.</div>
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That’s something worth fighting for.</div>
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Don’t wait until it’s too late. Don’t be a victim of the
divorce or a target looking for an arrow. Don’t allow your feelings for an
ex-spouse to blind you to your responsibilities to your children and yourself.</div>
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You will survive the trauma of a divorce far more
successfully and in better health by standing up for your rights and your
children.<span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: black;">(</span></i><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: black;">Named one of “</span></i></span><strong><i><span style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-left-color: windowtext; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 1pt; border-top-color: windowtext; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 1pt; color: black; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style', serif; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;">America’s Best Lawyers</span></i></strong><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: black;">” by Forbes Radio, Jeffery Leving is the author of two
ground-breaking</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: black;"> </span></i></span><a href="http://dadsrights.com/index.php/books/" title="books"><i><span style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-left-color: windowtext; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 1pt; border-top-color: windowtext; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 1pt; color: black; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in; text-decoration: none;">books</span></i></a><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: black;">, Fathers’ Rights and Divorce Wars. He can be reached at
www.DadsRights.com.)</span></i></span><i><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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